Mum...my mamma

I was in deep thoughts as to what should be my post all about this mother's day. As an ode to my mumma, I try n pen few lines in memory of her every year. Till date, my post has been all about poems signifying the importance she has been weaving in our lives. Today as life stands still in the paranoia of absence that calls out loud, I am feeling an emptiness that cannot be filled out with the greatest of things in life. Being through this utterly happy and equally challenging journey of life, I realize that I AM nothing but a shadow of this woman whose only solace was an aim to fill lives of our near and dear ones with love and cares. She did not see who that other person was, if it was a close relative or a distant someone whom we did not see much. Her greatest smile was when she saw a near one happy and content. I often looked at her and thought if it was possible to be that content seeing someone else so happy. I used to chide her to focus on her offspring rather than people who might not be there tomorrow for her. She used reply saying that life is nothing but a mirage where everything that we think is nothing but an illusion. She used to tell me that follow your heart and rest will fall in place. There was a time when I used to be all about ME and nothing else. Mamma used to tell me -"Dear daughter, look beyond yourself. Her eternal crib used to be that I was more close to my dad than her and for some strange reason, she used to believe that I didn't care for her enough. 

Today after 4 years, I look up there and whisper into her ears that "Mamma ...do you realize that life is nothing yonder you...there is not a single moment that I do not think about you..life is all about you and trying to be you...Mama...I know you are right here....

and hope that  you are trying to take pride in your little daughter who is trying to put on the saree and look like you"...

With the lengths of distance that cannot be traversed easily, I wonder sometimes why you do not visit me in dreams. There are days when I try to please HIM just that you can visit me in the sleepy world. I get all happy when you pay a visit to me. But as the frequency of your visits come down, I realize that you have transported me from being the lonely sad soul that I used to be to an happy bubbly girl full of life. You showed me that the power of a mother's love transcends all the boundaries for the little one in trouble. Thanks for being there Ma.

As days pass by, my dear mother ...I realize that I am nothing but just a shadow of you who was content being identified as the naive,lovely and caring mama :) Words are not enough to express how much we miss you and love you. 

Her tiny fingers clutched her caring soft hands,

And looked from behind the world,

Her hand was always there around her,

Her little daughter put on her make-up,

She was trying to be her,

She smiled looking at her little angel,

Her eyes were full of love and pride,

The girl who grew up in her mother's womb,

Stepped out into the world unknown,

She knew what was going on with just a hello,

The little girl wondered how could she know,

 Life became busy and the visits became shorter,

 She used to wait for her to come home,

 On a dreary summer night, the angels came to take her,

 She peeps from heavens and looks at her little ones,

 Someday she will travel up there,

 To make up for all the lost time.